We all have needs. Regardless of who you are, what you do, and where you come from, if you are human, you have needs. This certainly includes pastors, their wives, and their children.
It has been said that pastors carry the same stress level as police officers. I have never been a police officer, but as a pastor for 22 years, I can testify that the stress that pastors carry is quite heavy. According to Phillip Wagner at churchleaders . com, Pastoring is in the top four hardest jobs in the world. Those top four jobs include:
The President of the United States
A University President
A CEO of a Hospital
A Pastor
There have been staggering statistics circulating about Pastoring over the last decade. According to an article in the New York Times in 2010 "Members of the clergy now suffer from obesity, hypertension and depression at rates higher than most Americans. In the last decade, their use of antidepressants has risen, while their life expectancy has fallen. Many would change jobs if they could." Other statistics include:
Almost 50 pastors a day leave the ministry
70% of Pastors do not have anyone they consider a close friend to talk to or confide in
33% of Pastors felt burned out within their first five years of ministry.
50% of Pastors starting out will not last five years.
80% of Pastor’s wives say the most destructive thing that has happened to their marriage or their family is the day they entered the ministry.
and the list goes on. If pastoring is so difficult, why do people choose to pastor? Pastors are people who deeply love Jesus and people and want the two to meet. Simply put, God has called them to pastor.
Ephesians 4:11-12 (NIV) “And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ:”
Pastors, along with apostles, prophets, evangelists, and teachers are gifts that God has given to the church.
James 1:17 (NIV) “Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
Here is the question that must be asked is. “How do we care for these God given gifts?” We should most definitely diligently care for every gift that God gives us. One way is to understand the needs of pastors and their families and help meet those needs. Here are seven things that every pastor needs from their congregants.
1. PRAYER
This is by far the most important thing you can do to care for your pastor. If you believe in the power of prayer, it is imperative to believe and be active daily in praying for your pastor. Remember, pastors are human therefore they have the same needs as anyone else.
Ministers constantly have people come to them and ask for prayer, and pastors are happy to do so because they love people and genuinely care for them. The sad thing is very seldom do people approach their pastors to ask how they can pray and intercede for them. If you don’t know how to pray for your pastor, simply ask him or her.
“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” James 5:16
Here are some ways to pray for your pastors and their families.
Pray for:
Their marriage
Their health
Wisdom
Creativity
Divine protection
That God would reveal Himself to their children in a very real way
Their faith to remain strong
Of course there are many more ways to pray for your pastors. These are just a few. Be sure to let the Holy Spirit lead you in how to pray for them.
More important than knowing specific areas to pray for your pastors is the fervency that you pray with. Of the worlds three greatest institutions, the home, the church, and the state, ministers are on the front lines of the spiritual battle for all three. Because of this, the enemy has put a huge target on the backs of every minister and each member of their families. You must pray with power and fervency when you pray for your pastors and ministers.
2. YOUR HELP IN MINISTRY
Pastors are called by God, but their calling does not make them Superman. Every Pastor needs a congregation full of people who will roll up their sleeves and help carry the load of ministry in the church. No one is exempt.
The Apostle Paul tells us in I Corinthians 12:4-11 that the Holy Spirit has given every person gifts to help build the kingdom and to fulfill the work of the ministry. Every Pastor desperately needs every person in their church to discover their gifts and to use them in ministry. Individuals who simply sit in church and do not serve is robbing God’s people from the gift He has put inside of them for Kingdom purposes. If you are not sure what your gifts are or how to use them, your Pastor(s) can certainly help with that.
It is the Pastors responsibility to equip the church to do the work of the ministry. It is the people’s responsibility to actually do the work of the ministry. The Pastoral staff cannot do everything. Your Pastor and staff need your help. Don’t wait. Connect with your Pastor ASAP to see where you can best serve in ministry.
3. LOVE AND ENCOURAGEMENT
Never forget Pastors are human. We all want to be loved, shown love, and encouraged. Pastors are no different. They have the same desires as everyone else.
Take the time to let your Pastor(s) and their families know that you love and appreciate them. Encourage them often. It may always seem that everything is going great for them. If they are discouraged or depressed, you more than likely will not know it. Pastors need your encouragement.
Mark Twain once said, “I can last two months on a good compliment.” This is true for most every human being. Take the time to compliment and encourage your Pastor and watch how it benefits him. Then watch how it benefits you and your church.
Every October is Pastor Appreciation month. I believe that Pastors should be shown appreciation year round. Here’s a few things you can do to show them you love them and to encourage them.
Call them
Give them a card
Take he and his family to dinner
Buy gifts for their children. They don’t have to be expensive.
Mow their yard.
Wash their car.
Ask them how you can pray for them and then ACTUALLY PRAY FOR THEM.
Love and care for their families!
The little things mean so much. Nothing is too small, nothing is too large. Go over the top. Do something simple for them. Whatever it takes, make sure your Pastor(s) knows that you love him and that your standing with him. Make sure he knows there is someone fighting for him and standing with him.
4. SOUL WINNERS
We have already talked about Pastors needing help in ministry. They cannot do everything themselves. This includes winning the lost. We are all called to win the lost. If you are a Christian, you are not excused from this great commission.
“Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:19-20 NIV
“He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.”" Mark 16:15 NIV
You cannot be a successful follower of Christ without being a soul-winner. Be a personal soul-winner. Talk to your unsaved family, neighbors, and co-workers about Jesus. You don’t have to talk about what you don’t know. You are only responsible for sharing what you do know.
Pastors need every member of their church to take the Great Commission seriously. Be a corporate soul-winner by being a part of your church’s outreaches. Neighborhood blitzes, feeding the hungry, and holiday outreaches are soul-winning strategies that most churches utilize. If nothing else, invite people to go to church with you every week. Don’t do church alone. Your Pastor(s) have a heart and vision to reach your community for Jesus. They need your help to accomplish the mission.
5. TITHERS
Those who tithe are saying “Amen” right now. Those who don’t tithe just stopped reading or they’re thinking, “Oh no! Here we go again.” Don’t act too surprised. You knew this was coming.
You cannot walk in full obedience to the Lord without tithing. That’s good enough to repeat. You cannot walk in full obedience to the Lord without tithing. God is not looking for followers who will follow Him half way. He desires “All In Disciples.” When you fail to tithe, you choose to walk in disobedience. Pastors and ministers have gotten a bad rap when it comes to asking their congregations to give financially. True, a few may be deserving of that bad rap, but the bottom line is tithing is Biblical. It is part of our worship to the Lord, and it pleases God.
Typically, people challenge Pastors’ teachings on topics they struggle with, don’t understand, or sit in an uncomfortable conviction when that subject is taught. Why do Pastors want more people to tithe? The simple answer is love.
Pastors love God. They want to Pastor a church that will honor God in everything they do. This includes Pastoring a church full of people who tithe. He who does not tithe, dishonors God.
Pastors love people. They also love people who do not tithe. Understanding the blessing and the financial freedom that comes through tithing, Pastors truly want everyone to understand and experience those blessings. They love their people enough to want to see them succeed and prosper financially.
Pastors love people who do tithe. These are people who fully understand that tithing is a trust issue. They trust God with their finances. They are a part of the twenty percent who carry the financial load of the church. Pastors love them enough to get others to help them carry the load. The full financial load of a church should not rest on a small percentage of the people. It should fall on everyone, including the Pastor.
Pastors need tithers to be able to carry out the vision and ministry of the church. It takes money to do ministry. It takes money to pay the utility bills, buy a new microphone when one gets broken, buy pizza for youth outreaches, put on an Easter production, feed the needy, help provide backpacks and school supplies for those in the community who cannot afford it, send staff to conferences to get resources and knowledge to be a better pastor, and to hire a staff who truly have a heart to impact lives and reach a lost community.
Malachi 3:10 tells us to “bring the whole tithe into the storehouse.” The whole tithe is the full ten percent of your income regardless of what that income is. The church needs people who believe in the purpose of the church and will help finance its purpose. If you’re not a tither, become one right now and watch how God blesses you.
6. FAITHFUL CHURCH GOERS
“Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.”
1 Corinthians 4:2
Faithfulness is a characteristic of God. God is faithful, therefore we should be faithful, especially in the things of God and to His house. We want faithfulness in our lives. We want our spouse to be faithful, our friends to be faithful, our children to be faithful. If we freely want faithfulness to be given we should freely give it.
Why do Pastors desire for their parishioners to be faithful attenders? Here are a few reasons: a. It shows a genuine love for God.
b. It shows a strong desire to grow and mature in the Lord.
c. It shows responsibility in fulfilling the call to serve the Lord in ministry.
d. It enables the church to grow numerically. Several years ago I was talking with a lady in the community where we Pastored. I had seen her in our church a time or two, had reached out to her and followed up numerous times, but she had never connected. As I spoke with her I asked her why she stopped coming. Her response was eye opening. She told me the two times she had come, the lady that invited her to come with her never showed up. She came a third time and never came in. She waited to see if her friend who invited her to come a third time would actually show up. That friend never came, so she left that Sunday without coming in.
She did eventually become a part of our church and was faithful every Sunday as she experienced the frustration of the unfaithful herself. Could it be that many Christians do not invite their friends to come to church because they are unsure if they will be there themselves?
On a personal level, when a Pastor sees faithful church attendance from parishioners it gives them a sense of accomplishment. It makes them feel that people get what they pour out from their hearts week after week. It helps them in knowing they are making an impact in people’s lives by seeing the fruit of their labor, study, and prayer.
7. PERSONAL TIME AWAY
We all grow tired from the race called life, the daily grind. Physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual fatigue can set in quickly if we are not careful. According to a Bureau of Labor survey in February of 2018, the average American works 34.5 hours a week.
Being a Pastor is one of the most unpredictable jobs a person can have. In a normal week, which is difficult to define, 87% of Pastors work anywhere from 40-59 hours a week. This is simply daily office hours. However, with emergencies, walk-ins, funerals, weddings, leadership meetings, minister’s meetings, and many other things that can pop-up and do, a Pastor can easily work 70-80 hours a week.
Pastors are normally the first to arrive to church on any given Sunday and the last to leave. If the church is in multiple services, Pastors are present for most every service. A church goer May be at church for an hour and a half while Pastors and their families will be at church twice or three times as long.
Because of their love for people and desire to minister to their congregants, Pastors are on call 24/7. They often receive late night phone calls because someone is in the hospital or for other various reasons. Many Pastors cut vacations short because of the death of a church attender or other emergencies in the church.
It’s easy to figure out what the result can be with anyone who carries such a load: burnout, fatigue, irritation, marital problems, depression, etc. Time away from the church with no interruptions not only helps but is highly imperative. Vacations, days off, comp time for heavy work weeks are certainly beneficial. Pastors need to be able to take the time needed for themselves and their families without feeling guilty or made to feel bad. Encourage your Pastor(s) to take the time they need to stay refreshed and healthy in all areas. The life of a Pastor, Pastor’s wife, and Pastor’s child is not always an easy life. There are joys and sorrows, ups and downs, victories and wounds from the battles. Through every season, through every hurt and every joyous occasion, Pastors are to be honored.
1 Timothy 5:17 “The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching.”
When you honor the man or woman of God who is your Pastor, God will honor you. I’ve never seen God not honor a church who works hard at honoring their Pastors. You can love and honor them by giving them what they need.
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