Marriage is the oldest and most sacred union created by God. Before the church was, before the state existed, marriage, the relationship between the man and woman God created, was firmly established. The marriage relationship was meant to help bring strength, stability, and perseverance to all other institutions. That is why marriage has been a major battle front since God created it. If the enemy can destroy marriages and the sanctity of marriage, he can destroy the home, the church, and the state as well. We clearly see that strategy in operation today. Therefore, we must guard our marriage with everything we’ve got. Here are ten habits of healthy and happy marriages.
Healthy and happy couples:
PRAY TOGETHER EACH DAY
When you pray, you strengthen your relationship with God. When you pray together as a couple, you strengthen your marriage because it places God as the center and foundation of your marriage. Talking to God each day as a couple is a principle that God established in the Garden of Eden. God would come and walk in the garden and talk with Adam and Eve in the cool of the afternoon. Husbands and wives should make praying together a daily habit. It is true, the family that prays together, stays together.
2. SAY “I LOVE YOU” EVERY DAY
I heard a story of an elderly couple who had been married for many years. The wife asked her husband one day, “Honey, why don’t you tell me you love me?"
The husband replied, “I told you years ago that I loved you and if that changed I’d let you know.” That’s a funny story, but it’s also the first ingredient to an unhappy and failed marriage. Never leave the question “Does he or she still love me” in the mind of your spouse.
3. CONTINUE TO DATE AFTER MARRIAGE
Dating your spouse after marriage demonstrates the level of priority you put on your spouse. Dating your spouse says to them, “I still place the highest value on you and desire to always invest in you and our marriage.” Friday is date day for me and my wife. We guard it. We value it. We prioritize it. Every couple, regardless of age or how long you’ve been married, should date often. Once a week is great goal. It doesn’t always have to be fancy, but don’t let it always be below par.
4. WORSHIP TOGETHER
Worship is defined as an intense love or admiration for someone or something. The more you love Jesus, the more He will enable you to love your spouse. God put the love for your spouse in you, and He can continue to make that love stronger as your love for Him intensifies.
5. DEVELOP COMMON INTERESTS
Children naturally become the common interest for couples, but when the children leave home, the will no longer be a common interest in the home. Healthy and happy couples develop common interests outside of their children so they have things to enjoy doing together after their children have moved out. Ex. Camping, traveling, exercise, a sport, etc.
6. SERVE ONE ANOTHER
The Bible tells us that Jesus came to serve not to be served (Matthew 20:28). Your marriage should be spent serving your spouse in small and big ways. Every morning I make coffee for my wife and take it to her. It is one way that I serve her. Jesus told his disciples “the greatest among you will be your servant” (Matthew 23:11). If a husband and wife spend time serving one another, both of their needs will be met and each one will be happy.
7. REMAIN ROMANTIC AND INTIMATE
Oh oh! It just got PG-13! Women love romance. They want the romantic dates, the walks on the beach, the dinners on the water, the cards, love letters, quality time together, etc. So husbands, YOU MUST BE ROMANTIC! Often! Be creative. You can do it!
Men love sex. That’s just how they were made. So wives, take and make the time to feel sexy, take some Tylenol throughout the day to get rid of even the possibility of having a headache, and BE INTIMATE WITH YOUR HUSBAND! Often! You got this!
8. GIVE AND ASK FOR FORGIVENESS
Your spouse loves you, but their love will not exempt them from disappointing you. There will be times your spouse will not only disappoint you, but they will also make you mad. Hopefully, this is not done on purpose and is inadvertent. When you disappoint or do something to hurt your spouse, quickly ask for forgiveness. When you are the one who has been hurt, give and walk in forgiveness. Unforgiveness will slowly erode your interest in one another and will damage your love for one another.
9. COMMUNICATE EFFECTIVELY
Effective communication is imperative to have a happy and healthy marriage. Wives your husbands cannot read your mind. Husbands, your wives want detailed answers not just generalities. Our daily lives are filled with communication. Text messages, emails, traffic lights, air traffic controllers, inner office memos, etc. We cannot successfully perform at a satisfactory level in our jobs without effective communication. You cannot be a successful wife or husband without effectively communicating with your spouse. Happy couples have meaningful and informative conversation daily.
10. HONOR AND LOVE ONE ANOTHER PUBLICLY AND PRIVATELY
If you struggle to walk in integrity in your marriage, you will jeopardize your integrity in every other area. To show love and honor to your spouse in private and not in public is degrading to your spouse. To show love and honor to your spouse in public and not in private shows you are more interested in your image than you are your marriage. Both are hypocritical.
Having a healthy and happy marriage does not come easy. It takes work. When you put time, energy, effort, creativity, and thought into you marriage, you will be pleased with the outcome. Work hard at being a wonderful husband or wife. You, your spouse, your marriage, and God deserve it.
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